So, I was reading yesterday and the author mentioned, with a qualification that his book is not about parenting, that the goal is to convince our children that we love them more than they could possibly imagine… And, that they are not the center of the universe.
That struck me pretty profoundly because I was at home in order to take care of my two year old. Three days ago, she didn’t get out of bed for two hours – just laid there. She is talking less, and strangely – lots of n’s “Daenny” is my name sometimes. This was the part I knew I wasn’t as ready for as the other parts – the change for Caroline. My solution – talk to her about it, and make her play. I let her watch cartoons and have pizza and a popsicle (did I mention that she wasn’t eating or drinking much either?), then we went to the pool. She loves the pool, and started to perk up within sight of it – but then she slid back down. Wanted me to carry her everywhere, and wouldn’t engage in the things she loves to play with.
I talked to some parents I saw there – they had twins and then triplets!!! They said their twins still haven’t gotten over the triplets being born, but that that is their lot in life and they stopped trying to overextend after a few months of trying that. It didn’t fly well with me, but it was great advice. So, Caroline and I went to the slide. She did not want to go, but she wasn’t protesting. I took her down ten times, she never walked, and for awhile didn’t say she wanted to do it again. And, I kept telling her we were going to do it again (each time she would smile during the actual sliding); until she said “do it two more times???” Then she was back to normal and played with her noodle, ran, and then we went out to eat and she ate a plate of spaghetti (the shirt is now being stain-treated by Grandma).
We continue to talk with her, she is clearly worried about Mommy’s ouchey, and life will never be the same again. But I have my beloved dialectical-parenting philosophy. Basic, but with no arrival – just the way I like it.
Oh yeah… and Rachel and I are going home in about an hour. I suppose it will be worse when they are both teenagers!