Catharsis


Rachel went to work on the new house today and I decided to take the girls to the park.

Caroline and I reason together a lot (it helps 27% of the time), and I asked her, “Which park do you want to go to?” And, she said, “The bug park”. For those of you who don’t know, that is Larsen Park. There is a section that has bugs on the ground, and it is a good park because Julia can crawl some before she starts eating dirt and sticks.
I packed pretzels, 2 packs of peanut butter crackers, one sippy-cup of Grape Juice and a jug of back up, craisins (Cranberries… shrunk. I think), 2 board books, 2 regular books, 2 princesses, one australian shepherd, and one mickey toy. Did I mention I was going to try to run for the first time? Well, I did. First run since May. 2 steps our of our drive way I was already breathing as though I had been running (fast) for 20 minutes. This means that I was taking one breath for every two steps. Right, left – breathe in – right left – breathe out. Sounds sort of like Mr. Miyagi (and I have been likened to Ralph Macchio, especially when I was thinner). The breathing worried me that I wouldn’t make it off of our street.
I made several time and distance commitments as I pushed our double stroller through the first block. By Belleview it had been 25 minutes and I walked the rest of the way. Success.
It was cathartic.
A few weeks ago I re-read “We Don’t Live Here Anymore” by my favorite author Andre Dubus. In the last section/novella “Finding a Girl in America” the protagonist, Hank Allison, is running with his friend Jack after he has been deeply hurt deeply by a woman. At the end of their run he yells, “I can’t get catharsis!!!” (Jack and Hank are both English professors, so they can yell ‘catharsis’ out loud I guess). He then tells Jack about the event, and then there is a bit of sorely needed redemption in Hank’s story.
Every time frame I can think of – today, this week, this month, this year, this season, my time in St. Louis – needs some cleansing. Today I went running and it felt good. It was cathartic towards all of those time frames, in the small but effective way that exercise is. I wanted to share with you that it felt good. Cleansing.
My grandma recently asked me to not forget that I have a blog. Mom doesn’t looks at the dates and was all confused about an earlier post (she thought it was about her… silly mom). Some hair has started growing back. Not much, but some. My appetite went to a normal place about four days ago (I can be full now). We have seen 2 of the 3 groups of family we are planning to see, and the next one begins next Monday. I killed my phone again today so if you need to get in touch email or call the home phone.
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