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I NEVER do these things.

But, Kirk did one, so I thought i would do one. With every person I put on my list ( you are supposed to do 25), a little bit of my will to live left me. So, I will throw it on the old blog…

1) I like coffee. French Press about twice a month.
2) Lately I have been spelling my name, “mat” to elicit whatever relaction.
3) My poor wife has noticed that while thinking I make very strange movements with my bottom lip. She wishes she could scold me, but she cannot stop laughing usually.
4) I got to hang out with two of my favorite authors in the last 6 years.
5) I would like to eventually publish a short story or essay
6) When someone introduces me as his or her pastor, I laugh because I am not one, then I try to sort of hide it… then I kind of repent…
7) I like NPR. I wish I liked music in general more. I like Jazz, but wish I liked it more.
8) I am suspicious of Christians
9) I have never thought of anything permanent enough in my life to tattoo, except my wife or kids but that would be kind of dippy.
10) I say “Dippy” because of my wife, and “silly” because of Caroline.
11) I think telling people to find their passion and do it, sets most people up for a discontent and at times miserable life. I agree – and still do it.
12) I keep in touch with about 10-15 men in a pretty deep and personal way. Not as often as I might like, but pretty dang often.
13) I love re-imagining the Christian faith. For everyone (including myself)
14) if I don’t play basketball for a week I begin to feel partially empty.
15) If I do not get at least one rebound I shouldn’t have got and thrown one amazing (or “ill advised”) pass in that game, for someone else to score… Then I will be slightly less happy all week. I would take a 3 pointer too, btu some weeks that is pushing it.
16) I’m afraid to plant churches, because I dont’ want to. But, I’m afraid I will become cynical enough to do it.
17) The last 3 people who tried to ue my chainsaw couldn’t. 2 thought they broke it. It made me feel like more of a man.
18) My Dog’s Name is Ron. I knew the name for about 5 years before he came into our life (not incarnationally, we adopted him from a stray society). He is likely the best behaved (inside) dog that you know.
19) Kirk Adkisson once took my wife and I to the Hillin St. Louis, and I ate a bowl of Spaghetti. It HURT. A lot. becauseI ate as much as Kirk could and no one should have
20) I flirt with murdering my cat: Batman. Not really. But, kind of. My friend Ty would also like to kill him.
21) I like the NBA. I liked it when everyone else was down on it. Even when it was like the WWF (94 and 95).
22) Andre Dubus is my favorite author.
23) I have tried 35 kinds of Scotch.
24) My Mom is the best business-person I know. Seriously.
25) Kirk is getting into Birding. What is birding?
26) I can quote lots of 80’s movies and songs. Probably more than you, but maybe not more than ANYONE you know.
27) Definitely missing the end of my right thumb, and have definitely used that to every advantage I have ever been able to think of. Told the story at least 5000 times (I can explain how I get to that number if you want to know), and make a joke about 4.6 times/week.
28) Saw U2 at Slane Castle in Ireland about two weeks before 9/11.
29) My wife is very beautiful, and I have been lately pretty aware of it. Not bragging, just happy.
30) I’m becoming a Pastor of Arts and Culture in the Fall and I know less about Art and music than almost everyone you know…

Just in case you check my blog, and don’t ever visit the BBC’s Day in pictures.

This is a young man dancing on the rubble of his home in Gaza.

I don’t know if pictures like this make my faith greater or if they increase my doubt.

I just watched Gran Torino.

There is a hollowness in Clint Eastwood’s movies. I mean it as a compliment, but it is there nonetheless… some spaces in the acting and writing, and even the shooting that I don’t know if I am smart enough to get. But, it makes me feel like I’m NOT watching the latest flick.

There was a lot in there about good Masculinity. That part makes me sad for a lot of reasons I really don’t feel like getting into.

There was some community stuff… I guess.

There was some racist stuff… I guess.

There was some spiritual stuff… I guess.

What was the last movie you saw that moved you? I think Gran Torino moved me. It made me sad that I didn’t know some men well, and sadder that I didn’t know others longer. It is interesting and difficult to be a man. I would compare it to being a woman, but you know… I do live with three of them though. Ron doesn’t count. Check the blog in five years and we’ll see if I have come up with anything.

I think Gran Torino moved me. What was the last movie that moved you?

Yes, I know the picture is not of a Gran Torino… I liked Better off Dead A LOT when I was growing up…

I’m sitting in a class right now and the professor just quoted an author I have just recently started reading. He said not to put the quote in my blog… Then I raised my hand and said, “Did you say not to put this in my blog?” and he said, “Just don’t say, Pastor ________ said, that ____________ ____________ said,

“The problem with Capitalism is that is makes shitty people.” “

So, I will just include the quote.

Thoughts???

The blog was private because I was looking for a job, and one suggestion that I thought was a good one was to hide any random thought blogs. This blog is nothing if it is not a random thought blog!

So, if you attend Riverside Church (and were there on Sunday) you know that I have a job when I graduate (August unless I burn out in the Spring), at Riverside. Many of you have sent encouraging texts, facebooks, etc. Thank you! And, know that I have a finite number of text messages – therefore, am saying thanks this way.

So, I will be the pastor of arts and culture… I think. We have till September to figure it out it seems! And, more importantly :), my blog is now not-private.

I should write more about how glad I am 2008 is over (it was a long year in many ways). I should write more about how awesome my mom is – we just spent a week together in California, New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado. I should write more about my kids and how cool they are. I should devote at least one blog to my wife – after all – how else could my kids be so cool? I should write about the people we lost this year, but I think I already did that (and, thankfully… no one has died since then… I hope that doesn’t sound calloused or insensitive… some of my friends have lost since then. But, five seems like a lot).

Anyway, the purpose of this is to explain 1 – Why the Blog went private for two months. 2 – To explain the Job I got.

So, I was listening to Reasonable Doubts Podcast and they were talking about the idea and Holiday of Christmas. They mentioned that the Puritans didn’t celebrate it because they knew that the tree was for the Winter Solstice and the connections to Saturnalia (Am I writing like I knew it before I listened?). I read the Puritans a little, in a book of essentially poetry, that my mother-in-law bought for me. It is good to read them. Their theology is too harsh for me, and I think a bit too negative – but it is such humble, pious faith.

I think somewhere in me is a long blog about Christmas and consumerism, and how our theology should affect holidays like Christmas (and… maybe… Easter) more than it does. Alas, My throat hurts a little, we just put the girls down (We still haven’t opened everything for Caroline, she just kept getting overwhelmed), and I don’t know if I have it in me!

I love that I have an excuse to not lave the house. I loved being at the mall yesterday to get a watch fixed (thanks Mom) and ate cookies with Caroline (too many for both of us… stupid coupon). Rachel deserves a medal – she set up Caroline’s doll house, cooked us Baked French Toast with cream cheese and pecans in between the pieces of bread, made coffee… I think she got up at 5:20. And, she got me the coolest presents ever. Not flashy, but VERY me.

I hope you have a nice Christmas…

Does everyone have anger issues?

Tonight I went to my book club and it was great. We read White Noise by Don Delillo. The book was an experience, not a book. He has the ability to make the plot seem primary, secondary, or (here is nice word) tertiary. What was the book about? Death maybe? Was it a satire? No, but it was certainly satirical. Was it funny? Might have been the funniest book I have ever read, and yet had some of the most quotable lines i have ever seen on sex, death, adultery, masculinity, parenting, etc.

Anyway, I saw a friend of mine named James at the bar. It is the second time I have seen James in a week. James has a friend named Tom, and about 13 seconds into my meeting with Tom I find out he is a somewhat angry atheist. I told him about getting a drink with Chris Hitchens and how much I respect Hitchens’ robust rejection of Christianity. It was very clear that Tom did not think I was free-thinker, or had anything to advocate for.

He then went on a rant against religious people who want to have their cake and eat it too in the form of rejecting miracles, but affirming Jesus’ resurrection. I couldn’t get a word in edge wise to tell him how much I agreed with him. So few “agnostics” will reach any argumentative closure, such as “Jesus must have been a total lunatic” (Hitchens is the first I have ever heard – OF ANYONE – to affirm C.S. Lewis’ classic ‘Jesus must be a liar, a lunatic, or the Son of God’ argument).

Anyway, I think we left it well, there was some discussion of pre-suppositions and miracles, the laws of physics, etc. Maybe he will come to On Tap (which is this Thursday ontapdiscussion.blogspot.com – you should totally come).

The really funny thing is, I think Christians deserve the anger of most agnostics/atheists. It is hard for me that I have to convince my friends who do not believe in God that I capable of critical thinking, but it is mainly hard because I know how many insensitive Christians that they have talked with… How many who have berated them, told them they are going to Hell, etc. I wonder how Tom grew up, I wonder what he reads (the bar was closing so I didn’t get a chance to find any of this out), I wonder what his fears and dreams are, I wonder if he cares what mine are?

Doc left me in for a few extra minutes in the second half. I was playing okay (Although I did airball a 3 pointer… because I started wondering if someone was gonna come block it). He mentioned that I would want to blog about a reverse layup I hit on a miss by a teammate…

I think it would be more fun to blog about my second technical foul ever (Doc has seen both). Third technically, but one was for attempting to enter a game when I had already fouled out (also only happened about once…). I was being fouled… THis is not unusual, but I thought it was getting bad… I would say he slapped my arms about four times… HE then had the ball. I yelled, “COME ON…” And the ref (Who has been refereeing games since I have been in STL) shook his head as in, “It wasn’t a foul…” I was thinking, damn straight it wasn’t… it was four. What I actually said was, “JUST SAY YOU DIDN’T SEE IT!!!” Not abusive words, but I was yelling very very loudly…

We were down ten at halftime. I told the ref what I did was childish and asked his forgiveness. He also called more fouls after that…

We won by 2.

It felt good…

I care about basketball a lot less than I used to, but I apparently still care enough to yell at a ref…

And now, I will make my blog private.

And post a picture of Tom Chambers… Can anyone else hear Dan Patrick saying, “Hurt the Rim Tommy…”

Tomorrow I will be making my blog private… I was going to wait longer then realized anyone who wants to get ahold of me knows some way… other than my actual blog, to get ahold of me.

I will probably switch it late tonight or tomorrow…

For reasons I will make clear soon!

So, I think I need your email to let you read it.

So, make sure I know you read it (the most random people tell me they read it)

Scott Sauls, our former pastor at Riverside, taught me as much as anyone about the Gospel.

He was a big fan of a couple of illustrations, but one (that to my knowledge he only used once) is totally stuck in my head.

He talked about his ability to sit down in front of the TV and eat an entire box of Cheez its. He said he ate the entire box because he doesn’t believe the Gospel – not everywhere, not all the time. And, sometimes he wants to feel different and so he will sit down and eat an entire box of Cheez-Its while watching TV.

Luckily for me it is goldfish…

Fortunately or unfortunately there are a lot of things that I do – now that I have this illustration – that are because there are places where I simply do not believe that I am a mess and that I am loved.