Today Rachel (Matt writing) went to visit some friends in the hospital and bring them dinner. It is actually their son who is sick, and if you have the time they could use your prayers also.
Anyway, so I bathed Julia first because Caroline asked me to Caroline does not like baths as much as she has in the past even though we have taken to calling them “Fairy Princess Bubble Baths”. So, Julia was clean, lotioned, pajamed, and playing while Caroline was playing (she actually wanted to play… which is slightly less amazing than the fact that she did not cry when I shampooed and Conditionered her hair).
Julia and I played in her room for awhile and then went to big sister’s room where there are more toys. Of course Julia doesn’t know what to do with many of them so she was simply handing them to me. As I sat on the floor I realized I was stretching my head to hear Caroline make noises (it is easy to hear her in Julia’s room, but much harder in her room). To make matters worse she was actually dunking a bottle and letting bubbles out of it. So, I would stretch my head and hear just bubbles… Nerve wracking!
I finally said, “Caroline, I need you to say ‘I’m okay Daddy’.” She had been listening well all day and she sort of whispered, “I’m okay Daddy…” but I heard her. Its amazing to know that she hasn’t ever really had an accident in the tub, she is a very careful kid, etc. Her whispering that just made me sigh deeply in relief. And, I decided since I was the parent and didn’t need an anxiety attack – Julia and I could play in Julia’s room where I would worry less. Chances are lower that she would indulge me a second time with the “I’m okay Daddy”.
It occurred to me that many of you who read this might need to hear me say that I am okay. I am. My appetite is fantastic (well, it is selective but interested in a lot of whatever it wants… lately pizza). Today I was helping a friend move and had a cup of coffee. It was maybe my third cup since beginning Chemo, and my first that I drank all of. I also didn’t eat much breakfast and it didn’t kill me (the appetite works in multiple ways usually… I HAD been feeling queasy anytime my stomach was empty. See previous Facebook update of the four plates of nachos that came after dinner). I have started reading again (Dubus). I finished my have-to-go-on-campus-class. I’m even planning on doing some work on our fence tomorrow after church. I talked to a friend today and she was just so relieved to hear that I was doing well. I hope you are too. Thank you for your time, your prayers, your thoughts, those who brought us a blueberry pie, those who have planned parties for us, those who want to plan parties, those who facebook, those who call… I could go on and on. Thank you. This isn’t my last blog or anything, but I just feel a lot better and wanted you to know.