At least part of the point of continuing to blog is to think, pray, and own the things about me that are different. If you think this is a bad plan you can blame Jeremy; it was essentially his idea.
1. I don’t like 270 anymore. This might not be a post-cancer thing. If possible, I do not get on to 270. For instance, the drive to Seminary (at least from our old house, which you should buy) is shorter if you take 44 to 270. But, I don’t anymore. Laura showed me the way up Rock Hill to McKnight (My wife also used this way when she worked at the hospital), and I just liked it better. The speed was easier to navigate, less inducing, a rhythm I could get on board with. I prefer five more minutes in the car to getting there faster but going from 70 to 9 intermittently.
2. I think I am less interested in perspective. This has been growing in me in some ways for a long time – like when people come back from Missions trips and their main thing is “how much they have here and how thankful they are”. I think that that is true, and a good thing to learn but I don’t think a change of perspective changes people. In this case I used to try and relate to people, or semi-consciously compare what I had been through with what they are going through/been through. I didn’t mean to do it then, and now I consciously enjoy not trying to do it – I try to listen, be present, etc.
One of the ways this effects me is that in a lot of movies and media people have cancer. It is the disease of choice for the sick or dying person oftentimes. This makes avoiding it socially very difficult. I realized this when I was watching Up in the Air with a friend who is divorced: divorce is everywhere. My sister, who lost her father when she was 1, pointed out to me that fathers are everywhere.
I don’t think there is a BIG TRUTH here. I am just sifting through little differences in me, and thinking about them.
The inappropriate movie quote after the media paragraph is from the second scene in Naked Gun, where Leslie Nielsen says, “Everywhere I go I see things that remind me of her.”
good thoughts. thanks for sharing. glad you're still blogging and reflecting/thinking. your thoughts on how the media uses cancer and divorce are very interesting…and true. excited about you passing your written exams too!